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Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited  When the personality is rigid to the point of being unable to change in reaction to changing circumstances - we say that it is disordered. Such a person takes behavioral, emotional, and cognitive cues exclusively from others. His inner world is, so to speak, vacated. His True Self is dilapidated and dysfunctional. Instead he has a tyrannical and delusional False Self. Such a person is incapable of loving and of living. He cannot love others because he cannot love himself. He loves his reflection, his surrogate self. And he is incapable of living because life is a struggle towards, a striving, a drive at something. In other words: life is change. He who cannot change cannot live. The narcissist is an actor in a monodrama, yet forced to remain behind the scenes. The scenes take center stage, instead. The Narcissist does not cater at all to his own needs. Contrary to his reputation, the Narcissist does not "love" himself in any true sense of the word. He feeds off other people, who hurl back at him an image that he projects to them. This is their sole function in his world: to reflect, to admire, to applaud, to detest - in a word, to assure him that he exists. Otherwise, the narcissist feels, they have no right to tax his time, energy, or emotions. The main body of research about Narcissism is surveyed in the book. Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Re-Visited offers a detailed, first hand account of what it is like to have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It contains new insights and an organized methodological framework. The first part of the book comprises more than 100 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) regarding relationships with abusive narcissists and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life  Author: Albert Ellis, Marcia Grad Powers Paperback: 230 pages Company: Wilshire Book Co (2000-10-01) ISBN: 0879804459 List Price: $15.00 Amazon Price: $7.19 Used Price: $5.99 Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out; On relationship and recovery  From the author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship If your partner: seems irritated or angry at you several times a week; denies being angry when he clearly is; does not work with you to resolve important issues; rarely or never seems to share thoughts or plans with you; or tells you that he has no idea what you're talking about when you try to discuss important problems...you need this book. You Can't Say That to Me: Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse -- An 8-Step Program  You can't say that to me! "Can't you do anything right?" "I can't believe you would feed that junk to your child!" "What is this? And don't tell me it's a casserole, I already know that." "If you really cared about me, you wouldn't behave this way." Sound familiar? Each of us occasionally feels the sting of very unpleasant language from those who are closest to us--spouses, employers, friends, relatives. But frequent and repeated use of unanswerable questions, scalding accusations, sarcasm, insinuations, and even icy silence is more than simply unpleasant; it is abusive, destructive, and frequently leads to escalating arguments and physical violence. Suzette Haden Elgin, creator of the "Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense," has developed a unique and revolutionary way to break the cycle of verbal violence and eliminate it from your life--without ruining your marriage, risking your job, or alienating friends or loved ones. Dr. Elgin shows you how to neutralize verbal attacks and discourage future abuse with:* An 8-step program that helps you recognize the patterns of verbal abuse * Specific language techniques that enable you to avoid escalating arguments and break the cycle of abuse using skills you already possess * Questionnaires and diaries that help you analyze abusive situations, evaluate your responses to them, and track your progress In this book Dr. Elgin proves that verbal abuse is not caused by human nature, but by language. She helps you discover that you are an expert in your own language, already highly qualified to solve this problem for yourself, quickly and forever. Author: Suzette Haden Elgin Paperback: 224 pages Company: Wiley (1995-02-16) ISBN: 0471003999 List Price: $18.95 Amazon Price: $7.99 Used Price: $3.99 Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-downs  Did you know that there are kids out there who don t even want to get out of bed in the morning because they know what going to school means for them?·being teased and taunted ... ·being excluded and rejected ... ·being afraid that you re going to be assaulted and possibly hurt... ·Sometimes it can even mean that you just can t hang in there any longer, so you give up and take your own life. If you are one of the cool kids at school, this book is for you. But if you re not one of the cool kids, this book is especially for you. Emerson Elementary isn t a real school, but it could be your elementary school. And the students at Emerson aren t real kids, but the problems they face are real, and so are the choices they make. The Golden Rule is an old rule, but it's still a good rule to live by, and after reading this book, you may just possibly become a kinder, more compassionate human being, someone who treats others the way you want them to treat you. So come along and join the students at Emerson Elementary and help them make some cool choices! Author: Sandra McLeod Humphrey Paperback: 133 pages Company: Prometheus Books (2007-11-20) ISBN: 1591025699 List Price: $13.95 Amazon Price: $7.95 Used Price: $9.28 Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You  Author: Patricia Evans Paperback: 352 pages Company: Adams Media (2003-02-01) ISBN: 158062569X List Price: $14.95 Amazon Price: $9.00 Used Price: $6.99 The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond  Are you now, or have you ever been, in relationships with family, friends, or mates who have been verbally abusive? Is your happiness with someone you love continually threatened by interactions that continually undermine your self-esteem? Do you feel trapped in a relationship that keeps decaying in a downward spiral of overt or passive-aggressive abuse? If so, this book could be your life raft, either carrying you toward repair of the existing relationship or the effects of past relationships or offering liberation from your current confusion. Its practical approach can help clear your head and possibly change your life. The only criticism that I and other readers have is that the author assumes verbal abuse is almost always directed by males toward females, which, in my experience and that of others I know, is not necessarily the case. Highly Recommended. Sorry!  Author: Trudy Ludwig Hardcover: 32 pages Company: Tricycle Press (2006-07-15) ISBN: 1582461732 List Price: $15.95 Amazon Price: $9.61 Used Price: $9.54 Just Kidding  D.J.'s friend Vince has a habit of teasing D.J. and then saying, "Just kidding!" as if it will make everything okay. It doesn't, but D.J. is afraid that if he protests, his friends will think he can't take a joke. With the help of his father, brother, and an understanding teacher, D.J. progresses from feeling helpless to taking positive action, undermining the power of two seemingly harmless words. Trudy Ludwig takes another look at relational aggression, the use of relationships to manipulate and hurt others, this time from the boy's point of view.Author: Trudy Ludwig Hardcover: 32 pages Company: Tricycle Press (2006-03) ISBN: 1582461635 List Price: $15.95 Amazon Price: $9.57 Used Price: $9.58 Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men  "He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control.""He can be sweet and gentle." "He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he's a great father." "He's had a really hard life..." Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with: € The early warning signs € Nine abusive personality types € How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will € The role of drugs and alcohol € What can be fixed, and what can't € How to leave a relationship safely Author: Lundy Bancroft Paperback: 432 pages Company: Berkley Trade (2003-09-02) (2003-09-02) ISBN: 0425191656 List Price: $16.00 Amazon Price: $8.97 Used Price: $9.14 |